From decoding success to fostering neurodiverse inclusion

Today at our company annual kick-off at Level Access we had a guest speaker. Alex Banayan gave a heartfelt talk to the team about finding your path and purpose, overcoming failure and setbacks. While his talk resonated with many of my colleagues, it held a different meaning for me.

I understand that the main focus of this presentation was not on addressing neurodiversity, but I discovered several themes that resonated with me. On Alex’s website the first line in the section “who this book is for” says “We all face rejection. We’ve all felt the fear of starting something new.”

I believe that incorporating relatable examples that neurotypical individuals can understand can be incredibly effective in fostering empathy, comprehension and drive organizational culture change.

Alex talked about an instance where something went terribly wrong, an epic fail! He discussed how he just replayed that event over and over, dwelling on what went wrong. He also talked very candidly about allowing that failure in and accepting it and trying to learn from it.

What does this have to do with neurodiversity? Nothing, and everything.

Understanding the Social Dynamics of Neurodiverse Individuals
People who are Neurodiverse (ND) may frequently encounter challenges in social interactions, which is a common experience for many. What is often misconstrued is the assumption that an ND individual is oblivious to their social missteps. In reality, we are acutely conscious of these instances, sometimes to a distressing degree. We may meticulously analyze and relive these interactions in an attempt to pinpoint where they veered off course. While others may readily recognize the misstep, for ND individuals, identifying it may necessitate replaying the scenario repeatedly. Once identified, we may engage in mental rehearsals, exploring alternative approaches for similar future situations.

This extends further than just recognizing the moment of failure and gaining insights from it. It transforms into what is often known as 'masking'. We engage in adopting a persona or behavior to prevent encountering similar social interaction failures in the future. We tend to keenly observe our peers to imitate and emulate their actions. Women on the autism spectrum excel at this ability to imitate or mask, which is why many women remain undiagnosed or incorrectly diagnosed for a significant part of their lives.

In Alex’s talk he shared what would be more akin to a neurotypical interaction. He touched on some typical experiences of failed business interactions for individuals with more neurotypical traits, where they may have faced rejection, such as being hung up on during a call or losing a deal. Maybe the experience had an even more catastrophic outcome, like being called out publicly.

What resonated with me was this emotional feeling, a very human experience. This experience could lead to feelings of failure, self-doubt, and embarrassment. All I could think was, this sums up almost everyday of my life. While my interaction failures may not be catastrophic or epic, I would more relate it to death by 1000 paper-cuts.

I bring this up because in my work, I consistently seek opportunities for people without disabilities to establish connections, show empathy, and relate to individuals with disabilities, with a particular focus on hidden or non-apparent disabilities.

I instantly made the connection with what Alex had discussed and realized that I could utilize this example to improve the explanation of what it feels like to experience social missteps related to neurodiversity.

I believe there is power in helping people relate. Any time you can connect a familiar feeling or emotion from one persons experience to another you take a step towards helping them to understand and empathize.

I also think this can be incredibly powerful in the workplace, dare I say that neurodiverse employees often carry most of the “burden” of navigating the social and business interaction landscape. It can be exhausting, it can lead to burnout, overwhelm and meltdowns.

Shared Responsibility in Navigating Neurodiverse vs Neurotypical Communication
As we continue to strive for inclusivity and understanding in our communication, it is crucial to embrace the concept of shared responsibility when navigating interactions between neurodiverse and neurotypical individuals. This approach acknowledges that both parties play a vital role in fostering effective communication and mutual respect.

For neurotypical individuals, it is essential to cultivate empathy and awareness of the diverse ways in which people process and respond to information. This involves actively listening, being open to different communication styles, and making efforts to accommodate the needs of neurodiverse individuals. By acknowledging and respecting these differences, neurotypical individuals can create an environment that is conducive to meaningful and inclusive communication.

On the other hand, neurodiverse individuals should also be empowered to communicate their preferences and challenges openly. It is important for them to advocate for their needs and educate others about their unique communication styles. By doing so, they can contribute to a more informed and understanding environment, allowing for greater collaboration and synergy in interactions with neurotypical individuals.

By embracing shared responsibility, we can foster an environment where both neurodiverse and neurotypical individuals actively engage in creating a communication landscape that is inclusive, respectful, and supportive of diverse perspectives and experiences. This approach will not only benefit individuals but also contribute to a more cohesive and empathetic society as a whole.

Returning to Alex’s presentation, although I acknowledge that the primary objective was to inspire self-reflection and motivation, I believe that we can also view it as a chance to promote inclusivity by supporting individuals with neurodiversity in the professional environment. This approach not only fosters empathy among others, but also provides an opportunity for managers and leaders to comprehend and acknowledge these differences. This understanding can enhance their abilities as managers, contribute to a more positive workplace culture, facilitate the career development of individuals within the neurodiverse spectrum, cultivate exceptional employees, and ultimately drive greater success for the organization as a whole.

Similar to Alex's explanation about the existence of three different approaches (or three ways in), I believe that companies should adopt this mindset internally. The era of rigid management and leadership styles should transition towards accepting the concept of multiple pathways to achieve a goal. This shift not only empowers individuals to unleash their full potential but also fosters substantial creativity and innovation.